"On Getting Along"
by Howard Zinn

You ask how I manage to stay involved and remain
seemingly happy and adjusted to this awful world where
the efforts of caring people pale in comparison to
those who have power?

It's easy. First, don't let "those who have power"
intimidate you. No matter how much power they have
they cannot prevent you from living your life,
speaking your mind, thinking independently, having
relationships with people as you like. (Read Emma
Goldman's autobiography LIVING MY LIFE. Harassed, even
imprisoned by authority, she insisted on living her
life, speaking out, however she felt like.

Second, find people to be with who have your values,
your commitments, but who also have a sense of humor.
That combination is a necessity!

Third (notice how precise is my advice that I can
confidently number it, the way scientists number
things), understand that the major media will not tell
you of all the acts of resistance taking place every
day in the society, the strikes, the protests, the
individual acts of courage in the face of authority.
Look around (and you will certainly find it) for the
evidence of these unreported acts. And for the little
you find, extrapolate from that and assume there must
be a thousand times as much as what you've found.

Fourth. Note that throughout history people have felt
powerless before authority, but that at certain times
these powerless people, by organizing, acting,
risking, persisting, have created enough power to
change the world around them, even if a little. That
is the history of the labor movement, of the women's
movement, of the anti-Vietnam war movement, the
disabled persons movement, the gay and lesbian
movement, the movement of black people in the South.

Fifth: Remember, that those who have power, and who
seem invulnerable are in fact quite vulnerable, that
their power depends on the obedience of others, and
when those others begin withholding that obedience,
begin defying authority, that power at the top turns
out to be very fragile. Generals become powerless when
their soldiers refuse to fight, industriaists become
powerless when their workers leave the jobs or occupy
the factories.

Sixth: When we forget the fragility of that power in
top we become astounded when it crumbles in the face
of rebellion. We have had many such surprises in our
time, both in the United States and in other
countries.

Seventh: Don't look for a moment of total triumph. See
it as an ongoing struggle, with victories and defeats,
but in the long run the consciousness of people
growing. So you need patience, persistence, and need
to understand that even when you don't "win," there is
fun and fulfillment in the fact that you have been
involved, with other good people, in something
worthwhile.

Okay, seven pieces of profound advice should be
enough.

isn't it funny how it all depends on the spin you put on things, the spin you put on yourself, am I a good mother or bad?
like when I am using the computer and they both go downstairs and I can hear them of course but not see them, and Liam asks me for a bowl of cereal and I say hang on a mimute and Nash says I'll get it and Liam says okay, and yes, some milk gets spilled but nobody hits or cries or insults, and they clean it up in their half assed way and then come back upstairs and report to me and I feel like, I COULD feel like I'm neglecting them, but really, it feels good to give them that space. you know?
they are growing up.

the A-Z quiz that's making the rounds:

A - Act your age? maybe. but I rarely act my shoe size (seven and a half)
B - Born on what day of the week? no idea - I guess I could look up what day of the week september 18 was in 1968?
C - Chore you hate? most of them. especially sweeping and dishes and cleaning up after the dog
D - Dad's name? jerry
E - Essential makeup item? lipstick or at least chapstick
F - Favorite actor? John Cusack
G - Gold or silver? silver
H - Hometown? southwest florida
I - Instruments you play? nothing well.
J - Job title? mother, writer, religious educator (sounds pretentious, doesn't it?), youth advocate.
K - Kids? Nash & Liam
L - Living arrangements? with my two youngsters
M - Mom's name? kathy
N - Number of people you've slept with? hush your mouth
O - Overnight hospital stays? three separate stays of 4-7 days each
P - Phobia? death, car crashes
Q - Quote you like? "what if they had a war and nobody came?" --- now was that john lennon or arlo guthrie who said that?
R - Religious affiliation? atheist UU
S-Siblings? one older and one younger
T - Time you wake up? whenever the kids get me up, between 6 and 8 typically
U - Unique habit? is there any such thing?
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat? brussel sprouts, I can't stand that taste.
W- Worst habit? procrasinating, forgetting to mail things and to return calls & emails
X - X-rays you've had? so many! mainly of my teeth and to check out my internal organs, and my right hand.
Y - Yummy food you make? tvp tacos
Z - Zodiac Sign? virgo

and charris suggets these as well:
back to iraq
war blogging
who dies
agonist
war blogs

last night, some of us were chatting about the US attack on Iraq, and it was asked whether UUs are inherently against the war. the UUA is, and they have a resource page up here, with some especially helpful stuff here .

I am going to concentrate on small things now. I'm not sticking my head in the sand. small things are what save us.
the tuesday this or that:
1. Cold frosty ski slopes or warm sandy beach? cold frosty days and warm sandy nights sound great
2. Chevy or Ford? thanks, I'll walk
3. Mac or PC? I wish I had a mac. I am stuck with this compaq presario because when my iMac died, best buy wouldn't replace it.
4. Dial-up or high speed internet access? dial up
5. Small *family-only* wedding or large 200+ guest wedding? I think there were 100 or so folks. it felt big to me, nice and big.
6. Would you rather be the bridesmaid or the bride? Bridesmaid
7. AC/DC or ABBA? ABBA - mama mia, here I go again, my my, how can I resist you?
8. Roses or daisies? I love roses, the really red ones especially.
9. Trashy romance novels or classic literature? Trashy mystery! and oh so literary mystery like Martha Grimes.

I was home with the flu and couldn't make it to this vigil, but the photos are beautiful.

quote of the day:
"It is the job of politicians to avert war and the task of educators to teach peace. They aren't doing their job." -Maria Montessori

12:15 AM, liam got up to go pee, and I followed him because he looked a little unsteady on the stairs. when he finished, he blinked at me and said, "mama, I am having trouble thinking!"
as I carried him back to bed I just said, yeah, baby, I know what you mean.

want to know why I'm sitting in front of the computer, at a quarter to three, still in pyjamas, greasy and smelly, and have been for most of the day?
well, I had one of those dawn migraines, and slept off and on from about 8-11. I got up at 11 extremely queasy, brushed my teeth and got on the computer to make some contact, and do some work. from about 1:30 - 2 I was rocking and singing lullabyes to my three year old. I'm achey and nauseous and my five year old is hoarse and feverish. so there you have it.

and now, for a little levity:

Which Unwanted
Sexual Gesture Are You?

Made by the fine folks at
daylighttwilight.com

trixie has written a beautiful homage to the man. my pbs station showed the episode on remembering people today.

"What really matters is whether the alphabet is used for the declaration of war or for the description of a sunrise."
~ Mr. Rogers

my friend lotusbeans posted that on her journal, and I felt moved to snag it. to fred rogers, peace pilgrim.

showing my age

I'm sure I'm not the only 34 year old sitting here grieving for mister rogers today. I have always felt baffled by anyone who did not "get" how wonderful and important he was, to young children and to their parents. last october, I heard betty jo middleton, a great unitarian universalist religious educator, speak about her life and work, and she talked of how as a struggling young parent, she was ministered to every afternoon by a man who told her that she was good enough just the way she was.
I remember where I was when I heard that Kurt Cobain has passed. I will never forget this morning, sitting in front my computer with the tears coming down, and the good neighbor song in my head.

a music quiz from traci jean

1. what are your top 5 albums of all time?
01. Elvis Costello "My Aim Is True"
02. Robyn Hitchcock "Queen Elvis"
03. REM "Murmur"
04. The Beatles (aka the white album)
05. The Pixies "Surfer Rosa"

2. what's the first album that you remember listening to or being aware of and how old were you?
Simon & Garfunkel, I don't know for sure what album. my parents had them all and I was allowed to put the records on by myself. this is when I was 3. my favorite song was Cecelia. I still love that song.

3. what were you listening to the year that you were 13?
Cream, the Who, Led Zeppelin, Styx, Journey (!), David Bowie...

4. would you say a record ever changed you deeply?
EC's first album, My Aim is True. it shifted my perceptions and got me out of classic/arena rock and into new wave & punk rock.

5. what is in your cd player right now?
Aimee Mann - I'm With Stupid. it's addictive.

parades so far:
*krewe of confetti kids: our neighborhood children's parade, featured some pretty awe inspiring wagon & stroller floats and tons of recycled throws. I give it an 8.
*shangri-la: pretty fun, with lots of toys, but too many unenthusiastic dance troupes. a 7.
*krewe of barkus: fabulous! the very best in marching jazz, and absolutely astoundingly clever floats and costumes, plus great throws and toys. a definite 10.
*oshun: small yet kind of blah, with a too high band:float ratio, and not enough throws, but I did like their floats. I give them a 6.
*pygmalian: eh. not so thrilling. I loved how the "russia" float had a disclaimer sign about supoorting our troops. gack. 3.

the friday five on tuesday...

1. What is your most prized material possession?

my photographs. especially the ones of my parents with their own parents, and my photobooth collection.

2. What item, that you currently own, have you had the longest?

I wonder. some of these vintage dresses I've had since I was 13. oh! my jukebox I won in a contest when I was ten! that may be it. although somewhere I have a little jewelry box and one thing in it is the little amber horse my aunt gave me at age 7. oh and I have some baby blankets that were mine as a baby. so there you go.

3. Are you a packrat?

Yes I am.

4. Do you prefer a spic-and-span clean house? Or is some clutter necessary to avoid the appearance of a museum?

well I want it to be CLEAN but I also love my stuff. filth I can't stand, but clutter is okay. I prefer organized clutter.

5. Do the rooms in your house have a theme? Or is it a mixture of knick-knacks here and there?

Theme? har har. perhaps our theme is Every Room A Playroom. or Every Day is Mardi Gras.

this makes me so happy.

"mama, I dreamed that I fixed a broken van with two eggs, one piece of paper, and one play structure. and one instructions."
liam, age 3, monday, february 24, 2003, 6:30 AM

I am eating week old evil jungle prince, over 5 day old rice. mbd thinks this is insanely risky, but it doesn't worry me.
it reminds me, though, of when I ate week old chicken and then got so horrifically ill, with laboresque pains in my back and side, vomiting literally all night, lying on the bathroom floor crying and moaning and going from atheist to agnostic for one night only, praying to any deity that might be out there to please, please let me live and I swear I'll never eat week old chicken again!
but after two more days of the sickness, I learned that it was nothing to do with my immediate eating habits, that it was not about the chicken at all, but instead was a massive gallbladder attack and the onset of pancreatitis...
meanwhile, nearly three and a half years later, I'm eating week old chicken with abandon. anything with this much hot pepper can't be bad. and it smells and tastes great. it's fine. trust me.