hello from camp, world.
writing from camp feels like writing from the freaking moon or something. so, so far away.
I love that when I sign on to blogger it says, "welcome back, super."
the weather up here is finally delighting me by being the opposite of new orleans. tonight there is this mighty wind (yes, I said mighty wind) blowing, cool and strong and loud. I love it.
dig me:

Which John Cusack Are You?

free will astrology again:
I predict you will be in a hearty, even triumphant mood in the coming week, Virgo. There'll be few if any loose ends. Unfinished business will either complete itself or else reveal to you how to wrap it up simply and quickly. However, even if you have to pass through a moment or two of dark doubt, it's essential that you stay committed to your mood of hearty triumph. Please write down this poem from Tony Hoagland and carry it around in your wallet: "No matter how you feel, you have to act like you are very popular with yourself; very relaxed and purposeful, very unconfused and not like you are walking through the sunshine singing in chains."

sounds doable.
in three days time, I'm getting on an amtrak to spend thirty hours in a tiny compartment with two young children, both of whom have double ear infections. I can do this. I even have battery operated, noise making toys to help ease things.

I cut liam's hair last night, at his request. he's been asking for a month, except that he'd ask but then he'd say that he actually wanted his hair to grow as long as mine. it was well on the way! but he became more sure after the bosotn trip. maybe this has something to do with the cough drop that got stuck in his hair while we were on the road.
it's his first short hair cut. although it's still long by some people's standards. it's sort of a curly version of christopher robin. it's lovely. but I am sad for the end of his being mistaken for a girl. I think being mistaken for a girl is good for a little boy, and vice versa.
and now that I think of it, I guess nash's first short cut was around this age, almost four.
I don't have any pictures yet, of the haircut. I still have no film in my camera! the buy film item on my to do list stayed undone the whole trip, so no boston pictures, nope, none at all. I hate that.
It's pretty clear that I'm not going to LA. mbd has THREE DAYS OFF in a row! because I was going. but now I'm not. but I am taking those days, thank you! oh yes. now what will I do with them? I wish our car was in better shape so that I could just send them - the kids and their father - away for those three days. dude, that would rock.

$383.
right now the cheapest ticket to LA and back is $383.
not good enough.
which is really sad.
if I get to go, this will be my first non-working vacation in...
forever maybe?
at least since the alaska trip of 1992.
damn.

rain rain rain.
the rain is my favorite thing about today.
no, rosana rescuing me and bringing me home is my favorite thing about today.
the not so favorite things:
*I'm running on one hour of sleep.
*my eye is itching again
*it's become clear that the chances of me getting to LA next weekend are slim to none,
as flights have gone up and way, way beyond my $200 budget.

dash it all.
the kids are doing me the great favor of silently watching the wizard of oz
and eating graham crackers.
bless cable tv and graham crackers.
I am fiddling around online to keep myself from dozing off.
but oh!
Liam just fell asleep. merciful heavens, yes!

just today, we got home.
it's overwhelming.
I still haven't read my mail, there is a stack of it.
the kids are very happy to be back in their own space - we all are. they've made themselves a nest of pillows and blankets and are being very sweet to each other while watching pbs kids. I guess we'll go to the fireworks... considering that we only have to walk a few yards to get to the choice seats, why wouldn't we? oh right, because of mosquitoes...
it was a rough trip home. liam was sick. he puked all over himself day before yesterday, driving through pennsylvania. more on that later. It will take me a while to decompress before I can review the trip, the conference, everything. I am drinking a bass ale in my pyjamas. hair pulled back, glasses on. I'm soaking up the air conditioning and eating chocolate.

from tracijean:

1. I am happiest when: I am well rested and in the middle of a good book
2. I feel lonely when: I want to talk to someone and everyone I call and/or run into is busy, busy, busy. this happened tome big time on my first day in boston.
3. The ideal relationship would be: I have no idea!
4. Favorite movie(s): local hero, tapeheads, lone star
5. Favorite author: jd salinger, martha grimes, margaret atwood
6. What makes you cry: anything that touches me, really. and laughing painfully hard.
7. Introvert or extrovert: ex ex baby
8. Do you think too much: is there anyone who answers no? no.
9. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be: I love living here in new orleans but I'd like a better/bigger house... and I'd like to try another conuntry sometime.
10. A famous person you would like to meet: famous people make me nervous. I wish I could be all Yoko Ono and meet someone tremendous without even realizing that they're a superstar... as it is, when it happens I'm tongue-tied and stupid.
11. Do you believe in organized religion: believe in it? its existence is irrefutable... at age 13 I woulda said no, but as it is, I am proud to be a unitarian universalist, and, without organization, we wouldn't be able to walk the walk.
12. Pro-life or pro-choice: choice
13. Are you a vegetarian: naw
14. Do you support the death penalty: naw
15. Do angels or demons exist: i don't care!
16. What would you most like to be doing right now: eating a large order of thai food which includes spring rolls, tom kar gai, and a tall thai iced tea. this would be consumed to the background of noise of kind hearted children playing cooperatively with one another.
17. Do you have any regrets: of course
18. Sex or love: is the premise here that one can't have both? or are we supposed to be prioritizing?
19. Favorite coffee: iced mocha, soy milk, whipped cream
20. Brand of cigarettes: uh, cough, hack, wheeze...
21. Favorite scent: vanilla, cookies baking, lavender... no incense.
22. What REALLY makes you mad: rampant clueless classism amongst new age liberals
23. Favorite way to waste time: this is it
26. What is your best quality: is anyone qualified to answer this?
27. Are you currently in love/lust: prepetually, but only mildly.
28. What's the craziest thing you have ever done: the time in 1997 when I was pretending to be alice goldfarb in order to rent videos certainly made me feel crazy. I didn't have her card, but she said it'd be okay. I said I didn't have it and couldn't recall the number, and they asked for ID. I said I'd forgotten my wallet. they asked for my social scurity number. I said I didn't have it memorized. they asked for my birthdate. I thought I might pass out from embarrassment. I said, "I'm lying! I'm sorry!"
30. Any bad habits: yes. procrastination is at the top of the list (although my fast food habits are probably doing me way more harm than any deadline missing ever could).
31. Do you find it hard to trust people: yes and no, sometimes, sort of, sure
32. Do you ever doubt yourself: of course.
33. Last book you read: I'm in the middle of Savage Inequalities by Jonathon Kozol and The Blood Doctor by Barbara Vine
34. Last thing you bought for yourself: lemme think. yesterday, we were still on the road. I guess the last thing was that cheeseburger with a dr. pepper at wendy's in montgomery, alabama.
35. Bath or shower: I like a long, sweaty bath followed by a quick shower. I like to read in the bathtub.
36. Favorite season: fall and spring when it gets crisp. sweater weather.
37. Porn or erotica: porn doesn't interest me, although the porn reviews in the bust magazine sex issue sure did.
38. What is your favorite flavor: basil
39. What is your favorite time of day: night
40. Gold or silver: silver.
41. What is the lamest pickup line someone has used on you: "so, are you what they call alternative?"
a close second: "are you italian?" (uttered while staring at my unshaved armpits)
42. Silk sheets or cotton: I don't think I've ever slept on silk sheets
43. Any secret crushes: all the time
44. Do you ever feel you are insane: there are moments
45. Favorite style of music: style schmyle.
46. Favorite film genre: dark comedy
47. If you could be the opposite sex for one day, would you do it: I guess, why not?
48. What do you desire most in life: joy, freedom, health
49. Do you believe in destiny: you're my density!