Tuesday, August 30, 2005

I'm okay

greetings from the natchitoches (it's pronounced NACK-idesh) parish library, where I'm using a stand up computer station because all the ones with chairs are taken. I'm lucky to have access to a computer at all, just like I'm lucky to be staying in my uncle's house in natchitoches instead of at a shelter, just like I'm lucky to have made it out of new orleans on sunday.

it's kind of amazing how hard it is for me to relax and write while standing up. I am overwhelmed by all of this, all of this, you know, the unanswered and unanswerable questions like, when can I go home and do I have a home, are all of my loved ones safe, I don't know, I just don't know, and, it's a lot like my feelings of september 2001, I have worries about my friends and family members and concerns for my own safety and uncertain future and then I am caught up in a massive guilt attack because I am so lucky, I am alive and housed, clothed and fed, I am here, I am somewhere.

this is all like nothing else I've known, it's all incredible.

it was 12 hours to drive the 280 miles from my door to the front door of the house we're in, it's right on the cane river, beautiful and weird.