Wednesday, October 05, 2005

what it's like to be home

ah the weird world of wireless. just add it to the list of weird, weird things. and every day I think about how they're becoming normal to those of us who are here. like the helicopters and the red cross food truck, that chugs along with its monotone announcement, like a depressed ice cream truck.

this coffeehouse is the only game in the neighborhood - tout de suite, on alix & verret, come on by.

you know, the thing while living in exile was the endless wall of NOTHING to do; now it is an endless list of chores, I mean really, syssiphian or however it's spelled.

my friend milarsky helped me via cell phone to figure out how to get my wi-fi hookup going and he just called me to see if it was working, saying, isn't wi-fi incredible? well, yeah. and just the fact that I have a laptop is incredible, I mean, I never thought I would, not based on any objections, just, you know, money. money and everything. the generosity of my friends is incredible. and the whole concept of money gets more surreal every day now, kind of like the concept of time, heh.

this morning liam said, it's really not fair for new orleans, right? and even though we're the luckiest people in new orleans it's not even fair for us, right?

his perception is too much for me.

the kids - my kids and my neighbor's kids - the four of them altogether - are so happy to have each other, they'r getting along way better than they ever did before. the other day I had all four for ten hours at my house and it was really fine.

I wake up way too early, though, and can't get back to sleep. anxiety. unfamiliar noises and unfamiliar quiet. my neighbors at the navy base don't play reveille anymore, isn't that weird? more military than ever but they quit with reveille. now it's just helicopters and trucks, all the time. garbage trucks and moving trucks, the moving trucks make me feel so sad.

oh, mail. the mail is so weird. they started delivering mail last thursday but it's old mail, five week old mail, so far just bills. I need to write up a form letter for my creditors. I'm not kidding.

so I am lonely for mail but there's really no solution to that in sight.

you know that whole 12 step "one day at a time" thing. I'm not very 12 step savvy and I have no belief in a higher power but one day at a time is all we can handle down here.

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