words aren't working for me

my weekend in pictures, thursday morning to sunday night.

evil now, scary now

the only bad thing about being deluged with packages from all of y'all well wishers while we were waiting things out in Natchitoches is that the volume of stuff was so huge that I wasn't able to keep track of who sent what. I think it was either cheryl or ivy who sent a copy of jonathon richman's action packed cd, and today I got to listen to it all the way through for the very first time. dude, I hadn't heard little vampire girl in YEARS. a thousand times thank you.

to see what is beautiful

or, a mold-free photo post.


okay, this includes the very sad destruction of my neighbor's house, but it is also beautiful. my Liam, our backyard, that mighty tree that lost a large part of itself and took a fine house (and my back fence) down in the process.


we now take Brenna out for a walk on the levee every morning. and it's beautiful, every time.


Nash, even huddled up and feverish, is so damned beautiful.


what, you find no beauty in the dirty dishes? well, I do. see how they shine.

maybe you'd like to see some mold

step into my office...





behold my former desk.



and my shelves full o' moldy books.




and etc.



this was the nursery. one of the things on the floor is the wooden dollhouse that I put together when Nash was 2.




and then there are the classrooms, full of things that several years worth of children made and used.






so, yeah. that's what I did saturday, for as much as I could stand anyway, taking out two shelves of books and some story baskets that had escaped unscathed, a few odds and ends of art supplies, but not much. it's hard to be there, and I don't plan to go back anytime soon. it's hard to see. and to smell. touching is out of the question.

normal times

Liam says, holding the puppy we adopted nine days ago, "I'm glad we got the puppy. it's like normal times now that we got the puppy. well, it's not really normal times for real but I love the puppy and she loves me, I know it."

I don't make these things up. how could I? hearing that this morning I felt, more than anything, flooded with relief that I had at last made a good decision in all of this and then felt that awareness again of how I keep blaming myself, like I made this disaster my ownself. and I'm not alone in that, I keep hearing others doing it, sitting in a meeting last week, this brilliant woman across the table from me saying, "I just feel like I keep making bad decisions" and it's so, wow, how hard it is for us to get that there are things beyond our control, that we're doing the best we can in an insane situation.

this morning on npr (how I wish I could sleep past 7), the CDC says that half of us living in new orleans right now are in need of counseling. what, only half? I don't know. sometimes it feels like the best thing I can do for myself is to listen to Liam.


the original caretaker named the puppy Brenna, and we've decided to stick with it.

last week

so I was walking across the mississippi river when an overly-coiffed white lady leaned out of her SUV to yell at me(us), "Go home!"
I was like, dude. I am home.

call for submissions - the mama calendar

submissions now sought for the 2006 edition of the mama calendar!
straight outta new orleans,
against all odds, and by the seat of my pants,
the 2006 calendar will hit the presses mid-december.

the mama calendar is a community building-consciousness raising
resource by, of, about and for progressive, feminist, activist mamas
and their families, friends & allies everywhere. it is a celebration
and a call to action, a thing of beauty to last the year.

edited by coleen murphy, the calendar features a blend of
photos of mamas, babies, children, dads, and friends, as well
as a guide to mama-made zines, alternative parenting
resources, recipes, recipes for revolution, great dates in radical mama
herstory, and the work of numerous artist/activist/mamas.
recent editions have featured ayun halliday, victoria law, laurel
dykstra, sonja smith, trula breckenridge and heather cushman-dowdee, among others.

to join the ranks, send your photographs, poems, rants,
reviews, recipes, remarks, scrawls, comics, hopes, dreams and etc.
by November 21 to

coleen murphy
PO box 741655
new orleans, LA
70174
or via email to coleen at bust.com

prints of images are preferred; digital photos must be black
& white and high resolution.

how else can you support the project? beat the mad
holiday rush and ensure the future of the mama calendar
by ordering yours today!
calendars are $12 a piece plus $2 for mailing costs
via the above mailing address or via paypal to coleen at bust.com

the 2006 calendars will be mailed out around december 15;
in the event that insufficient orders come in, all payments
will be refunded at that time.