Liam says, holding the puppy we adopted nine days ago, "I'm glad we got the puppy. it's like normal times now that we got the puppy. well, it's not really normal times for real but I love the puppy and she loves me, I know it."
I don't make these things up. how could I? hearing that this morning I felt, more than anything, flooded with relief that I had at last made a good decision in all of this and then felt that awareness again of how I keep blaming myself, like I made this disaster my ownself. and I'm not alone in that, I keep hearing others doing it, sitting in a meeting last week, this brilliant woman across the table from me saying, "I just feel like I keep making bad decisions" and it's so, wow, how hard it is for us to get that there are things beyond our control, that we're doing the best we can in an insane situation.
this morning on npr (how I wish I could sleep past 7), the CDC says that half of us living in new orleans right now are in need of counseling. what, only half? I don't know. sometimes it feels like the best thing I can do for myself is to listen to Liam.
the original caretaker named the puppy Brenna, and we've decided to stick with it.