last night I was sitting in a hammock, on one of those classic shotgun house side porches, looking up at the sky, feeling the slight breeze, snuggling with my three year old, and thinking, wow, is this the life or what?
thank you alan & alexis & sofia & vivian for a rockin' good solstice eve party.
someone asked me a few days back if there are things I miss about living in mississippi. I was like, are you high? you know how many winter solstice parties I got invited to when I lived in mississippi? or how many friends I had whom I could invite over to celebrate with me? the answer is none, to both questions.
I am so glad that I moved here.
tonight we're having a few friends over to bake (more!) cookies with us, and to put the finishing touches on the yule tree. before bed we'll hang our stockings, and then I'll be up late making magic. Nash is right now forbidding me to go downstairs because he's working on a present for me, and he is very insistent on leaving some cookies for santa.

stocking stuffers I'm still looking for:
bertie bott's every flavour beans
little matrushka dolls
really good oranges
organic chocolates
any other cool harry potter candy out there

we are beginning to gear up for thanksgiving here. looking through cookbooks, trying out recipes...
I have to say that I have always loved thanksgiving for the pure, unadulterated feasting. my family has never celebrated anything beyond the feasting ritual in a sincere way, not with any weird perpetuating of the pilgrim myth, and not with one of those "everyone go around and share what you're thankful for" games either. we just cook a lot of food, get a lot of folks together and eat it.
now that I have children I am making an effort to include an awareness of the injustice inherent in this american holiday, but I'm also into claiming it as day of thankfulness and feasting for the sake of gratitude and the joy of the feast.
the earliest thanksgiving I can recall as a clear, defined memory is the year that my parents hosted the whole freaking family at our single-wide trailer. I was possibly 4,5, maybe even 6. many, many tables were put together out in the yard - I wonder where they came from? they were square and rectangular, creating a long banquet table; our kitchen table was round, yellow formica...
we served a number of chickens as well as turkey, duck, and maybe even a goose. I got the job if washing out all of the chickens. I was grateful that I didn't have to pluck them. at least 5 aunts and uncles were there, maybe more, and grandparents. I didn't have many cousins yet. the day is hazy, but I still have the mental picture of those tables all put together in our front yard, and of many, many pies.
another memory from thanksgivings of long, long ago is a year that we popped in and out of a number of feasts around the town where my parents grew up. I remember the pumpkin pie made by my teenaged second cousin that I forced myself to politely swallow with no complaints - she had forgotten the sugar. later, we went over to aunt sug's house and she made me some instant potatoes because mashed potatoes were my favorite dish and she had just run out.
when I was older, it was less about the extended family and more about our own traditions. one year we had an elaborate french feast including pastry enclosed fish mousse. giant zuchini boats filled with mashed potatoes became a holiday staple. we continued to make pies, many pumpkin and always at least one mincmeat. if we had a turkey, it was always accompanied by oyster dressing and plenty of gravy.
my first thanksgiving in atlanta I couldn't afford to go home to florida for the holiday, and I was suffering from a post-operative infection at the site of my former wisdom teeth. I was in a lot of pain, homesick and flat broke. with just two of us in the house all weekend, my housemate prepared a traditional meal with turkey and dressing, and I sat around watching "it's a wonderful life," unable to eat a thing.
two years later, I established a thanksgiving tradition of my own when I learned how to make egg nog. alone again with my housemate, we drank heavily and went to the dollar theater.
this year, I am having my parents over. I have gone to the whole foods and ordered a small turkey. I am keeping an eye out for giant zuchini and I plan to attempt a soy nog.

an excerpt from my psuedo-alanis song:
I feel miserable
Sore throats rot the flesh from my bones
I feel miserable
Rugrats episodes defeat my purpose
I feel miserable
Barbie ads are doing their best to impale my soul
I want to die

this answer is definitely derived from my never ending need for more sleep. lots of fatigue related questions. oh and that I fit the physical description of "good figure, long hair, a couple of stitches." har.

Which Nightmare Before Christmas character are you?
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nash was singing "michael row the boat ashore" in the early morning hours.
his second verse has this line: "sister help to skin the whale, halleluuuuuuujah..."

what wacky phrase nash learned from toy story:
"wanna pizza bean?"
what wacky phrase liam learned from toy story:
"wanna pee on me?"
according to each of them, "woody sez that."

the library is my favorite thing. here are the items I get to pick up tomorrow: 3 tasha tudor books (including one called "pumpkin moonshine") and the updated edition of Roadfood by Jane & Michael Stern.
also on hold, but not in yet: The Grave Maurice by Martha Grimes (I'm still 41st in line for that), a book on Day of the Dead, two cookbooks (Still Life with Menu & The Tasha Tudor Cookbook) and a lot of videos (Big Night, The Muppet Movie, Yertle the Turtle, The Big Easy).

friday morning, everything's fine, dry, sunny, you know, all that good stuff. we got nothing that could be called flooding here in my neighborhood and never lost power. which means we can save all these funky canned goods for next time...

there is an unusual amount of artificial light in my house because of the boards. we apparently live in the highest part of the city, even though we can see the river from our window: the point is 9 feet above sea level, whereas much of the city is actually below, as much as 6 feet below... regardless, in the morning we may well flee. we'll take the kids, the dog, the photographs, the zines. I think that's all that's really irreplacable.

"I don't attachment parent my children so that they will be behaviorally superior to other children and I don't homeschool so that they will be intellectually superior to other children. I attachment parent because I want my children to feel completely loved and respected, and I homeschool so that my children will be free from institutionalized living for as long as humanly possible. Period. End of story."
drublood

yeah, uhhh, not really, but this is what happens when I pretend not to know the "right" answers and just answer as myself. scary.

Which John Cusack Are You?

Nash's mohawk is getting cuter - he got a shave last night and let us spike it up. I regret that I have no digital camera with which to share the moment.

I am sick: sore throat, swollen glands. it's a tv day. last night, I watched Bringing Up Baby on AMC and had this flashback to May of '94, when I had just moved in to the house on 2nd Ave and was in bed with the flu, watching Bringing Up Baby. good times... or something.
hey, Steve's on blues clues today! something to live for!

nash sez:

"I'm NEVER gonna say please again, because I'm a tough guy and zack told me tough guys never have to say please and so I'm not!"

gee, thanks a lot, zack...

Liam likes to attempt to dress the dog. He has also switched over from calling me by name to shrieking out "Maaaaaawwwmeeeeeee!" just like every other three year old at the park. He is obsessed with Peelu gum. He imitates some unknown person who apparently made a big impression on him by saying, "now what're you doin leetle bo-wah (boy)?"
He is all clown all the time.

Nash's new thing is wearing clothes that are entirely too small for him and, in fact, belong to his brother. Oh to have a digital camera at this moment! He seems to think that belly shirts and pedal pushers are required wearing for superheroes.
Also, his new key phrases: "the matter of the fact" and "much to my surprise"...

a bedtime vignette:

"Nash, do you love me?"
"sure, Liam. I'm right here, and don't worry, because I'll never die."
"Okay. I'm not going to never die either."

(pause)

"actually, Liam, everybody is going to die, but only after they get too old."
"Okay."

(longer pause)

"hey Liam, remember my idea?"
"yeah!"
"tomorrow we'll start our own band. You be the tap dancer and I'll be the rock and roller!"

I had one of those waiting tables dreams last night, but this one wasn't the full on horror of actually doing it - it was just the idea. In my dream I was rushing off to work and then walking down the street realized that I was about to go wait tables. The horror! I stopped, turned around, started looking for a new job.

I went in to Charris Books in atlanta, and my friends were working there - not atlanta friends but new orleans friends. I asked if they'd keep me in mind for any part time help and they said yeah. I said how I'd asked at Charris before and always got blown off. Kami said, "yeah, they only want you if you've been published." and I said, "well now I have been, so I can work here, right?" and she said, "what do you mean here?"

And I looked around and I was not in Charris, the cool feminist bookstore, but in a sleazy, moldy smelling movie theater, and I thought, oh shit, I do not want to work here. I walked out on to the street and it was late at night in the quarter, cheesey guys saying stupid shit to me as I walked home.

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

something is still odd about my blogger set up here, and I'm not sure what. bleh.
but here it is, independence day (ha), and I have a hard time bringing myself to venture outside. there is supposedly a parade through the quarter at 3, maybe we'll feel brave and check it out...
for now, little bill rules the house, along with fresh pineapple and zapp's bar-b-que chips.

well who can resist the google game?

I learned it from sholanda. Ya gotta plug your name into google like so: "coleen is"

Coleen is a Sophomore at Florence HS this fall.

Coleen is our first daughter and our fourth child

Coleen is a gentle character and somewhat shy

Coleen is Sales Manager of Weddings in Paradise - Husband John is the Minister.

Coleen is considered one of the top photo retouchers

Coleen is the best source of information I have

Coleen is a 6-year old exposed to the violence of her world at a young age

Coleen is one of the refuge's less floated rivers

Coleen is expecting their first child in a short time

Coleen is a sweet young thing and a dear friend.

Coleen is going to do some fancy stuff with padded accents etc

Coleen is the medical rugby trainer

Coleen is not much of a conversationalist, therefore it was hard to
get into a deep conversation with her.

Coleen is an open-minded person and never forced her
own ideas on me regarding puppy care or other issues

Coleen is a role model to her students in her actions,
respect for her school, and as a member of the community.

Coleen is a former USF graduate student now living
in Iowa.

Coleen is married and has a 5-year old son

Coleen is a member of the American Gourd Society

Coleen is married to Larry Griswold, Illinois District Executive
Secretary- Treasurer, and lives at Lake Williamson Christian Center

Coleen is proud to be 100% Oregonian

Coleen is a poet and artist living in Dallas Texas

Coleen is a talented fabric artist

Coleen is GREAT !

Coleen is a hard worker with strong stick skills both right and left handed.

Coleen is a loving single mother who finds herself starting an affair with Sam's teenage friend, Josh (Ian Somerhalder)

Coleen is showing a visitor to her French Quarter apartment

Coleen is George's former lover

Coleen is always so happy and cheers up everyone with her big smile.

Coleen is worried Lance may turn out like his father

Coleen is from Ekwok, Alaska, and she is also a Yupik Eskimo

Coleen is no better

Coleen is an army brat and bought her first horse in Tripoli,
Libya at the same time Noel was doing his cavalry service.

Coleen is ready to take to the runway!!!!!

Coleen is everything you would expect from your recruiter

Coleen is throwin’ kisses and wavin’ to everybody and making sure they all acknowledge that she’s the Queen

Coleen is a cutie. She was wearing a mini skirt
and duct tape over her boobs (they would leave marks left on her body).

Coleen is an Irish bar free from Guinness-soused cliches

Coleen is available to you for the following rates

Coleen is our CPA

Coleen is Paul's girlfriend, and unfortunatly for her, the target of Travis's hairbrained scheme.

Coleen is a great 14" mohair bear

Coleen is the bait that can bring the hunted to the hunter

Coleen is 40 jaar

Coleen is a dentist

Coleen is our Yorkshie Terrier

coleen is using all her skillls to avvaid them and hurt them

Coleen is about as useful as a kitten.

Coleen is the 917th most popular female first name in the United States

Coleen is probably the most outstanding example of a living true American Patriot, she is so cool

Coleen is survived by two sons

Coleen is a foot and a few inches shorter than Orrin.

Coleen is more excited than I am

Coleen is great, but this is a one shot deal

Coleen is yet another character who finds her life turned upside down

Coleen is just still trying to unearth all that she needs to know to take down the people *who I can not name* she was hired to take down.

Coleen is a threat because she's unpredictable.

coleen is such a whore

Coleen is one hell of a woman

Coleen is an anglicized form, so the particle really doesn't agree in language with the rest of the name

Coleen is happy to discuss any concerns with you

Coleen is incensed by the Morley/RSPCA hypocrisy

"Coleen, is it the medication, or am I seeing double?"

Coleen is now speaking more Furbish than English!

Coleen is funny, actually, she isn't too bad of an actress

Coleen is pulled under the stands by what she thinks is an admirer
and soon it looks bad for her

Jim Benson will tell you with sincerity that Coleen is the cafe!



that was way too entertaining, but the best part was discovering this.
a few weeks ago, a four year old at church said, "you remind me of queen coleen." now I understand.

Nash quotes for the week:


*in a crowded restaurant, at top volume, upon seeing a fly on the wall:
"I read in a book that flies burrow in rotting flesh on dead animals!"


*telling me about his circus performer aspirations:
"I want to swing in the air on the flying japanese!"


*annoyed with his brother for knocking down his soccer goal posts (aka our couch cushions):
"Liam, you wrecked the whole soccer community!"


yes, everything he says is an exclamation.

22

I act like I'm 22.
This test was brought to you by Mel - mostly....

the tony's, greg kotis & me



for once I am proud and pleased to be a tv addict, because I just happened to turn on the tony awards in time to see my close personal friend, Greg Kotis, win two Tony's for Urinetown on sunday night.
Greg and me, we go way, way back. We spoke on the phone, twice. It went like this:


me: hello?

gk: hi, is ayun there?

me: oh, no, she went out with some friends, she'll be back later.

gk: OK, could you tell her that greg called?

me: sure.


cool, huh?


and then there was the second time, which was even better:


gk: hello?

me: hi, is ayun there?

gk: no, is this coleen?

me: yeah, I spoke to her earlier

gk: yeah - I have no idea where she went.

me: oh ok, thanks.


woo hoo!


all overdone cuteness aside, it was really thrilling to turn on my little tv and see ayun looking so shiny and happy and elegant in her lovely red dress, and greg looks more like aidan quinn than ever when televised. I loved his acceptance speech and that he was visibly nervous by the end of it. I know I would just get up there and bawl. Nash shouted, "ayun, ayun, it's ayun and inky's daddy!" and Liam said "I'mintown won AGAIN!"


It put me in mind of a silly experience I had in January, when I was in New York for the day. My friends from camp keep pestering me for tickets to Urinetown, as if I could get them some, because I'm supposedly friends with the writer, and I keep explaining that look, see, it's ayun I'm friends with, and I know her through the zine, right, the east village inky, you KNOW, like I keep telling you?, and I usually wave around a copy of the EVI as I say this, for good measure.
Well, we were standing on the subway platform having one of these conversations, it was aram, jessie, fried & me, and jessie said, Right, it's the east village inky DADDY who wrote Urinetown, we got it, and then aram and jessie launched into this convoluted anectode about a performance artist they once saw who would sing out, "what's my name, what's my claim to fame?" to which the response was "Phoenix Rising's daddy!", which of course inspired them to begin chanting the greg kotis version like so:


"what's my name, what's my claim to fame?"

"east village inky's daddy!"


now, really, can't you picture that going over big at the Tony's?

believe it or not, I am still moving.
it's the never ending movathon.
we started on Thursday morning and were quickly delayed when I came down with a mad, puking flu. I'd say we are about 3/4 moved at this point... aiming to be totally finished tomorrow. Oy!

my little genius has built a "rocketship" out of straws, duct tape and small plastic toys netted from a pinata at a birthday party saturday afternoon.
Nash: "when I grow up, I will be a dad, a astronaut, a rocket ship builder and a ice skater, and even a mimer!"
me: "a mime?"
Nash: " a MIME-ER"
Me: "like, a person who works in the mines, or -"
Nash: "Yeah, a COLD MIMER!"

I am watching "steve" sing with "joe." It's unnerving. Two extremely perky guys.
Nash informs me at top volume: "now it's only gonna be joe because steve's going to high school! I finally got to see the one where Joe comes, I've been waiting for Joe for YEARS!"
So I guess the theory that young Blue fans would be traumatized by Joe's arrival is pretty much blown in this household...

a blog. okay.